


Heaven, apparently

by thesoundofnat



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Confessions, Love Confessions, M/M, No Spoilers, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:42:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21979024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: “Ah.” Poe had to grin. “You’re cute. I mean-”Shit, shit, shit.“The thought was cute.Sweet, is what I’m trying to say. Considerate.”Finn raised an eyebrow. “Poe?”“I gotta go.”(Or, Poe keeps complimenting Finn, panicking, and running away. It becomes a problem.)
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 30
Kudos: 488





	Heaven, apparently

**Author's Note:**

> The first scenario was based on [this](https://snzz641.tumblr.com/post/189853755153/at-the-caretakers-home-after-the-whumpee-has/). I hope you like it! 
> 
> No association with and therefore no spoilers for The Rise of Skywalker.

Poe could remember running, a crash, and then: blinding pain before he presumably passed out. Now he blinked and blinked, trying to make sense of what he was seeing, body heavy with involuntary sleep of some sort, but his head didn’t make him want to die, so he reckoned that was something.

“Am I in heaven or hell?” he asked, voice low, the question making sense to him, but evidently not to Finn, whom Poe was starting to see take shape before him.

Finn blinked, almost mimicking him. “Uh, you’re in my quarters?”

Poe tried to sit, but Finn’s hands were right there, light on his shoulders as he pushed him back down. Poe didn’t protest, simply groaned. Yeah, it could’ve been worse, but he could feel so so much better too.

“So heaven?” he mumbled, realizing the effort it took to speak, but not being able to shut up anyway. “Thank god.”

“What-” Finn fell silent, and had Poe not just woken up from a mild concussion, as he was told afterward, he might’ve realized what he’d said.

Instead, he remembered it much much later when Jess, who had been present along with apparently a handful of other people from the Resistance, recounted the moment.

“Oh _no_ ,” he cried, wishing she would show him mercy for once and let him be oblivious. “Did I really?”

She shrugged, her lips twitching with a grin she tried to hold back. “You did. It was cute.”

“That’s fucking terrible.”

“Oh, come on, it just shows you trust him.”

Poe shook his head, even though they’d told him to not make any quick movements. Jess’ fault, he would tell them. “I can never face him again.”

“Poe,” she sighed, exasperated. “This doesn’t mean you have to come clean about liking him, even though I think you should. You were delirious. He didn’t seem to understand the compliment anyway.”

“Oh, he did,” Poe said sadly. “He’s smarter than you think, Jess. He probably just didn’t know what to say.”

“So you find his space comforting. What’s wrong about that?”

What indeed.

Poe wasn’t calmed by her words, despite knowing how logical they were. Apparently he’d always been obvious about his crush, but never to Finn. Never to him.

Coward. Always a coward, terrified of his own emotions and how they could - and had - ruined things for him beyond repair. But still he felt. Still he felt.

He avoided him. Could anyone blame him? He wasn’t being obvious about it. He didn’t turn on his heels if he walked into a room where Finn was, or dive into a conversation with someone else if Finn started approaching him. He just didn’t seek him out. Didn’t initiate the late night conversations he was so fond of. Treated him like any other.

But Finn wasn’t like any other. Not even close.

“Can I talk to you?” Finn asked, having come out of nowhere. So sudden Poe was genuinely startled, his first instinct to run, run, run. Since when had he been afraid of Finn?

“Sure,” he said, ignoring his rioting heart. “What’s up?”

“Can we talk in private?” Finn looked around, the people around them busy, but close enough to eavesdrop had they wanted to. Poe could appreciate his caution.

“My room or-” Or yours. Heaven, apparently.

“Yours works.”

They walked in silence. It was eerie. They could have comfortable silences, but their mouths never seemed to be able to keep quiet for too long when they were together. Poe loved that about their relationship. They had an understanding, but their never-ending conversations made it stronger. A constant development. Always communicating. No wonder Finn was about to ask him why he’d suddenly gone quiet.

But when they reached Poe’s quarters, he asked him how his head was.

“What?”

“Your head.” Finn tilted his own, scowling. “Is it hurting? Giving you trouble? I never got around to asking.”

“Oh.” Poe rubbed at the bump. “Not really. It keeps me from tagging along on missions, which is awful, but other than that, it’s healing.”

“Good.”

Poe blinked. “You wanted to talk in private to ask… that?”

Finn shrugged, sheepish. “In case you wanted to talk, but not worry anyone else.”

“Ah.” Poe had to grin. “You’re cute. I mean-” _Shit, shit, shit._ “The thought was cute. _Sweet_ , is what I’m trying to say. Considerate.”

Finn raised an eyebrow. “Poe?”

“I gotta go.”

“We’re in your room.”

“You can stay if you want.”

“Where are you going?”

Poe didn’t reply. Only ran.

That went well!

* * *

From that day on, Poe’s mouth refused to obey him whenever he was around Finn. He could have blamed the concussion the first time, and partly the second time, but he was running out of excuses now. It was getting ridiculous.

His crew were having the time of their lives watching him fumble, evidently.

“You act like a fool,” Snap said, his grin making Poe flush almost as much as his words.

“I can’t help it,” he whined. “There’s just… something about him. I _have_ to compliment him.”

“That’s not a bad thing,” Rose said, sweet Rose, who had kissed Finn once and instantly apologized to _Poe_ of all people. “I just don’t think running away each time helps. I bet he’s confused.”

“I mean, friends can compliment friends, right?”

“Sure, but you never compliment me,” Jess said, mock offended.

“Sure I do.”

“Not in the way you compliment Finn.”

Poe let out a laugh. “That’s a bit different, isn’t it?”

“Because you’re in love with him?”

_Love_. Dear god. “I’m not! I- it’s not like that.”

She was shaking her head. “Oh, Poe. You can’t call this a crush anymore.”

He crossed his arms. “I wasn’t aware you were in my head.”

“I know you. I’ve practically been on top of you for years now. You have signs.”

“I don’t wanna talk about this,” he said, turning away from them, if only to hide his constantly burning cheeks. Truly he would be the first man in the universe to die of embarrassment.

“Ouff.” In his haste to flee he’d walked right into Finn himself; literally stumbling back from having hit his chest. “Finn! Buddy. Didn’t see you there.”

“Clearly.” Finn’s tone was light, his smile teasing. “Better watch where you’re going, old man.”

“Old?” Poe was shaking his head, aware of the wide grin he couldn’t help. “Now you’re just being mean to be mean,” he said, poking at Finn’s ribs, making him back away with a laugh.

“Sorry,” he replied, hands in front of him. “It was a joke.”

“You used to be able to handle those once, Poe,” Snap said somewhere behind him, and Poe remembered where he was, who he was, and took a step away from Finn.

“Oh, come on now,” Jess was saying. “He can definitely handle those. He just likes pretending to be upset.”

“He is standing right here,” Poe said, rolling his eyes.

“Sorry. It seemed as if you were a little occupied staring at Finn to defend yourself.”

“Can you blame me?” Jesus fucking Christ, Dameron. “I mean-” He saw his friends nearly facepalm.

“Blame you?” Finn was frowning when Poe chanced a look at him. “What-”

“Gotta go.”

“Poe, come on.” Finn’s voice sounded so small now. Almost pleading.

But Poe had never handled these things well, so he left anyway. Left like a coward.

* * *

Finn found him. Not that he was hiding, necessarily, but thus far Finn hadn’t purposefully sought him out to talk about what the hell was happening with him, which Poe assumed he wanted to bring up when he walked up to where he was sitting. Poe didn’t even have anything in front of him to pretend to be busy. He was just sitting, staring straight ahead until he had to look at Finn, finally, who had taken a seat beside him.

“Hi,” he said, because Finn wasn’t saying anything and it was somehow worse.

“Hi.” Poe was the cause of that wrinkle between his eyebrows. He didn’t like it. “You didn’t have to run away.”

“I didn’t.”

“Poe.”

Poe deflated. “Okay, I did.”

“They were just messing with you. I know you can handle a joke.”

Ah. So maybe Finn hadn’t caught the compliment after all. Or maybe he thought it didn’t matter. Poe wasn’t sure what was worse.

“Right.” Poe squirmed in his seat, forcing himself to not look away. “They’ve just been… a lot. Recently.”

“You’ve been quite jumpy recently.”

“Right. Well. They won’t let me be and it doesn’t help.”

“Should I talk to them?”

Poe waved a hand at him. “Nah. I’ll deal with it.”

“Okay.” Finn crossed his arms. “You wanna talk about why you’re so skittish then?”

Damn. “Not really?”

Finn snorted. “Fair enough. I won’t push. Not yet, at least.”

Poe ran a hand through his curls. “When will you push then?”

“When it starts becoming a problem.”

“So never?”

“We’ll see about that, Dameron.”

* * *

It was becoming a problem. Had probably been one since this whole mess started.

Finn was too damn beautiful for Poe to not compliment him. Over and over. Saying shit like “your eyes are pretty” and “I never mind when it’s you” when Finn was just trying to hold a regular conversation with him. The fifth time Poe ran away that week was when he knew Finn was done with his bullshit, mostly because he followed him down the hallway rather than just letting him go.

“What’s your problem?”

Exasperation, maybe hurt. Not mere irritation or confusion, but actual real concern in his voice now. Poe’s fault.

He rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m having a hard time accepting your apology if I don’t know what’s wrong.” The anger was out of his voice as quickly as it had arrived. “Talk to me, Poe.”

“I want to,” Poe said, almost a whisper. “Trust me, I do, but-”

“But?”

“I feel like I could mess things up so easily if I do.”

“How bad can it be?”

“Bad enough to ruin us.”

“Us?”

Poe leaned against the wall, giving up, giving in. “I’m sure you’ve noticed my strange behavior has only been related to you, right?”

“I’ve had an inkling.”

Poe had to smile. “Of course you did. You’re smart.” He fought against the urge to turn on his heels and flee after the compliment. That was a regular fucking compliment, Dameron. It could be given to anyone, calm down. “Well. Uh. It’s… complicated.” He shook his head. “It’s not. I don’t know why I said that. It’s really easy, actually.”

“So tell me.”

“That part’s harder.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s like ripping my heart out and handing it to you.” Poe shut his eyes. Couldn’t do much else. “And even though I trust you, trusting your heart to someone is a lot. It’s unsafe.”

Finn didn’t say anything, but Poe felt his hands on his cheeks, but it was too much, too much, so Poe couldn’t look.

“Poe.”

He opened his eyes to see Finn in front of him, looking like a goddamn angel. “Stop.”

“What?”

“Stop looking at me like that.”

Finn didn’t let go of his cheeks. “Like what?”

“Like you reciprocate.”

“You like me.” Not a question.

Poe inhaled. “Too much for my own good.”

“Why’s that?”

“I look at you and I act a fool.”

“That’s not a bad thing.” A pause. “And I do reciprocate.”

Poe narrowed his eyes. “You do?”

“Of course.” Finn licked his lips. “That’s why I never confronted you about the compliments. They felt too good to be true and I didn’t want to hear you say they didn’t mean anything.”

“They meant everything.”

When they kissed, it was with desperation; both of them clutching at each other for dear life, and Poe kept thinking that this was real, real, it was fucking real, he could feel Finn’s back and lips and breath. Finn’s hands in his hair.

“You’re too good for me,” Poe said when they broke apart, and Finn rolled his eyes, breathless.

“We need to work on your confidence, Poe. Have you seen yourself?”

Poe briefly wondered what he’d feel if Finn ran away after the dropped compliment, but he relished in the fact that he could just lean in with a laugh and kiss him again and again and again. He needed to make up for his running away, but he realized he had a whole life to make it up to him now.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://thesoundofnat.tumblr.com/)!


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